


Summer Loving

by Rakath



Category: Degrassi
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, POV First Person, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26964511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakath/pseuds/Rakath
Summary: Zoe's spending her time with Maya over the summer, instead of Grace. And how that influences the relationships between them and one other Degrassi student.First Person perspective, with a different POV character each chapter.
Relationships: Maya Matlin/Zoë Rivas, Miles Hollingsworth III/Maya Matlin, Miles Hollingsworth III/Maya Matlin/Zoë Rivas, Miles Hollingsworth III/Zoë Rivas
Kudos: 4





	1. Matlin

“Just take a second, breathe, and try again.”

“I don’t even know why you’re helping me on this.”

“Unlike you and Tris, I passed this class. And Grace called me to help you cause she had somewhere to be today. She just- vanishes.”

Zoe glared at me.

“You’re not dumb, none of your schemes last year suggest in  _ any way _ that you can’t handle the work. Just- focus? Please, take a moment, and try again.”

I put my hand on her’s, she never felt like the touchy-feely sort of person, but maybe knowing someone else was there helping her would help this work out. Cause- she could get this. She just had to stop thinking she wasn’t able to.

***

"Can't believe you talked me into this," I muttered.

"Oh no, I'm taking you to a party." Zoe answered, "Truly the worst person."

"At my ex's house. The ex you're sleeping with." My life was complicated. My old best friend stopped talking to me, then dated my ex. Now that they broke up, my new best friend (who used to torture me for some reason)... Was sleeping with my ex, not dating. Just the sex part.

I have no idea how I got here.

"The stories about you were so much better than the reality."

"I'm still sober."

"Then we can fix that with the Mayor's liquor cabinet."

I smirked, "Best idea you've had with this."

***

Zoe tackled me to the ground, it was fast. But she didn’t have a sister who was a badass. So she’d never had to deal with better, I managed to roll us so I was on top, straddling her stomach. Hands holding one of her wrists to the ground, and my leg pinning her other arm.

“Okay, okay, you win this time,” she laughed. “How’d you learn to do that?”

“Well- my sister kinda does all sorts of athletic stuff. I had to learn a few things to keep up with her. Dad’s always busy and Mom- well, can’t exactly be Katie’s punching bag.” I lifted my leg off of Zoe’s arm, and let go of the other one. But I was still sitting on her.

“Plus, some after some perv tried to grope me in a classroom, I thought it might be nice to punch guys out myself, instead of hoping Miles might show up.”

Zoe was looking at me strangely, not… sure what it was. But I didn’t get a chance to ask. “He’s still into you, you know. If-”

“You’re sleeping together, and I’m fine not sleeping with him. After everything it’s just- a lot’s happened.”

“A lot happened with you and Zig, you still tried that.”

“That ended badly too.”

“Well, at least you have punching guys out to keep you busy. And your music mentorship slash babysitting gig.”

“...That I got because Gloria just- got kidnapped.”

“Not your fault, not your fault you got something out of it. I know if I were you, I’d just be glad it was a step toward my future.”

“...If it were you, you’d totally have her kidnapped.”

Zoe rolled her eyes, “Fair. I’m- sorry, the guy grabbing you was because.”

“Forget about it. It’s fine.” I did mean it, sure- like, it was messy. But what wasn’t messy about meeting people. It wasn’t like Tori and I started on the best of terms either. That’s just- how friendship goes. We can’t all just find our partner in crime like Katie did with Marisol. Someone who just fits perfectly and you’re on the same side from the start.

“Now, could you get off me so we can get food?”

I rolled my eyes, “But only cause you were so polite about asking.”

***

I can't do anything to help Miles with his dad. I couldn't really get through to him about how to get out of that. Drinking his dad's very expensive bourbon I can do. Zoe was doing her part, giving him a safe non-weed escape from his dad. So- like, I wasn't mad. Really. I just- didn't really wanna watch them suck face.

Was that selfish?

At least, well, Zoe was right. Going to a party was good. For a Hollingsworth party it was fairly low key with only about 60 or so people. And Zoe and Miles were fairly well behaved. Until the party started to wind down.

There were a dozen or so people all around the pool. Winston and Frankie slipped off earlier. And with most involved in their own things, Zoe had no issues slipping into Miles's lap. And they started making out.

And I focused on my scotch.

"Aww, are we neglecting you, I'm sorry." Zoe slipped into my lap, just as easily as she did Miles's. Okay, weird. But- I guess she's realized that making out with Miles was a little like doing the exact thing she promised she wouldn't do. "We were doing so well too, until now."

"It's fine." It wasn't fine, "You two are a thing, and this is a party." And she was playing with my hair. It was nice, like- really nice. And stroking my face. Weird, but- not bad weird. "Zoe?"

She smiled.

And she kissed me.

That was new.

She was drunk. I was drunk. Not as drunk as I was last time I was alone with two people making out, but maybe I was drunk enough for this? I’m sure that’s it, reasonable explanation for her kissing me. Maybe I sent some ‘we should make out’ vibes. Did I? We’d been friends for the end of the year, yeah. But… this summer things had changed, here or there. There was less worry things would go back to Paris and the start of term. And it was… nice.

Having a girl friend again.

Maybe that’s why I was kissing back?

Maybe I just missed kissing. I’ve been single for months. And with all my anxieties about people I don’t exactly- try to meet anyone. I was terrified when I met Miles. Of all that might happen.

Of all that did happen.

“Not entirely sure who I’m supposed to be jealous of.” Miles cut in, breaking me out of this loop of thoughts that kept interrupting how nice the kissing was.

Zoe pulled back, she had that strange look again. Like she was seeing something about me, not exactly me. I dunno how to put it, it was definitely more than just seeing me, “I don’t think you have to be jealous of either of us.”

Did Zoe mean to say that to me, or was she saying that to Miles. I- I could tell what she was suggesting. Like- it was obvious.

It was crazy.

“Miles, we should all three go to your room.” I said, eyes not leaving Zoe’s.

***

“So you and Zig?”

“Um, almost, but not exactly.”

“How do you ‘not exactly’ this?” Zoe asked.

I answered by turning a little red.

“Listen, my first time was with your sister’s idiot ex. I’m sure whatever you and Zig did was perfectly normal.”

“Well, we were both on Molly.”

“Okay, nevermind. But now I have to know what the heck happened.”

I took a breath, eyes closed, letting myself calm down to say it. I didn’t really have anyone to talk this through with before. Grace was Zig’s friend. So talking to her about it was… weird. And Tris and I were on the outs. I couldn’t exactly take it to Tori either.

“We were at Tiny’s place, his brother offered some. We got really high, everything felt amazing. Like- you know, we were high. So we were all sappy and in love and we went to his room and-”

Zoe’s eyes were on me. I was very decidedly not looking at her.

“So everything feels a lot more intense on MDMA.”

She almost laughed. She didn’t! I am very glad she didn’t, but she got close enough I knew she wanted to. So- like, I was very definitely some odd shade of tomato now. “Sorry, I guess you just- what?”

“He snuck me to the bathroom to wash my face and glasses, then we just spent the next half hour- well, fooling around.”

Zoe stroked my cheek, “Cheer up, at least it didn’t happen at the Torres place.”

“Gee, thanks.”

***

The world was very unfair.

Like- okay, I can’t really complain. My first time was a threesome, with a guy I sorta loved, and a girl I kinda sorta loved. Both of whom knew exactly what they were doing, and were very sweet and concerned with how much fun I was having with all of this. Like- as far as first times went I could do so much worse.

But I was awake thinking about what the fuck I just did, and Miles was contentedly asleep next to me. And how the hell boys get to just sleep after sex is  _ not fair _ .

“So… why did you plan all this out?” I asked the only person in the room only pretending to be asleep.

She didn’t answer, I guessed she hoped that if she pretended she was asleep the question would go away.

“I know one of your schemes when it bites me. Which you did.” I rubbed the spot that’d be a hickey in the morning, one of Zoe’s doing.

“I just- this summer has been a lot.” Zoe answered, not turning to look at me. “We- like, actually became friends. And all of your concern about me kinda… it was nice.”

“So… you were thanking me for being a good friend with a threesome?”

Zoe sat up, she pulled the sheet up with her for modesty. Which I didn’t quite get. I knew the flavor of bodywash she used from licking those. Also I wasn’t wearing my glasses, the lights were out, and the only reason I could tell the sheet moved was I felt her tug it, “Maya put on a shirt, please.”

I sighed and put on Miles’s shirt. It was closest. Guess she can see better in the dark than I can.

“I- um, it’ll sound really stupid if you don’t feel the same way.”

The same way?

“I think I got a crush on you, just- I’m not used to people believing in me, or caring about me. Asking about me. All that. They’re either hopeless fans trying to live through me.”

Tristan.

“Or they want something.”

Drew.

“So there you are being all caring and sappy, and I just… liked it.”

That was all kinds of messed up. Like- flattering, but messed up. How do you get to the point where you develop a crush on the first person to hope you’re not a complete disaster. Well, I met Zoe’s mom, once. That explained a lot. “So- like, why the threesome. Why not just tell me you had feelings for me.”

Zoe didn’t answer.

I answered for her, “You figured if you invited me into bed with my ex, you could see how into girls I was with him as your beard.”

“Don’t make it sound so nefarious.” Zoe answered.

I narrowed my eyes, waiting for a real answer.

“...Okay that may have been a part of it. I just- I dunno, asking someone out is hard.”

I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. Zoe Rivas, who easily tortured me for months. Who played a bitch on TV, could throw drinks on teachers without hesitation. And had no problem shamelessly flinging herself at boys was afraid to tell me her feelings.

“Not helping, Maya.”

“Your answer, to figuring out how to ask me out, was to fuck me. That’s not the least bit funny to you?”

“Shut up.” I could hear her pouting.

I got my act together. “Sorry.”

“And I didn’t have sex with you, we had sex with Miles. It’s different.”

I looked generally at her.

“Okay maybe it isn’t.”

I smirked at her.

“Shut up, you’re so annoying.”

I schooched in closer and cuddled up to her, she gasped as my skin touched her’s. The parts of me not in Miles’s shirt. Admittedly I buttoned like one button, and probably in the wrong hole, so there was a lot of skin to press into her.

“So… are you- you know, like Miles?”

“Interested in regularly having sex with you?” I said, biting back the smile in my voice.

“No. Well, okay, that too. But I mean do you-”

“Like girls? I probably wouldn’t have told us to go to Miles’s room if the idea of seeing you naked bothered me.” It’d be a lie to say I’d never thought about girls that way before. I’d never thought about sex or dating or anything. But there were volleyball tournaments of Katie’s where Marisol was just- breathtaking.

Or once, Imogen begged me to help her girlfriend Jack with a dance recital. And I spent the next two days failing to get Jack’s routine out of my head. Liking  _ Zoe _ , well, there was a lot of baggage even after we became friends. But- well, she didn’t hurt me because she hated me. And I did like her now that I saw her. “I’ve had a feeling I was bi for a while, guess that’s part of what brought the three of us together. A shared bisexual comraderie.”

There was a long pause, “Yeah… I guess that’s it.” She kissed my forehead. It wasn’t a sign for a round two without Miles. But a very nice gesture before we both fell asleep.

In each other’s arms.

Mostly naked.

We could figure this all out in the morning.


	2. Rivas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe's chapter in this little story.

Maya Matlin decided to hold my hand. I’m not sure what suggested she should do that, but there was her hand, on mine. Suggesting I could do this. I could figure out science. How do I politely explain that that’s super distracting and she should stop?

“Alright, alright, get off me weirdo.”

I picked up my hand to shake her hand away from me. She recoiled like I bit her. Hmm. That’s an idea. I did redouble my efforts to get this. Like- could I do anything else with this idiot so sure I could do it.

I couldn’t just give up, it’d let her down. And, God she’d be annoying about this, she was right. I was getting it. “And that’s my cue to leave. See you tomorrow?”

I nodded, not entirely sure what was her cue to leave, “Yeah, tomorrow.”

I watched her run off. About as carefree as Maya ever got, hurriedly running off to whatever other disaster she planned to help. Maybe her babysitting gig. Or something to do with the rubber room idiots.

“I know that look,” I started as Miles was sitting next to me.

“Fuck, don’t do that.” I answered, not entirely sure when he got here. But he was probably Maya’s ‘cue to leave.’ She wasn’t avoiding her ex, exactly. But she was avoiding anything that might involve seeing me and her ex make-out. Which… was us together, “What look?”

“The look of someone in love with Maya Matlin.”

“Shut up.”

He waited.

“It’s nothing,” I watched him, there was something in his ‘almost too casual’ casual demeanor that said something else, “You’re still in love with her.”

“Turning this around on me won’t save you from answering the question.”

“I’ll answer, after you answer. Why?”

He signed, resigned to play my game. Also probably aware I had no intention of answering. “Maya makes me feel like, just maybe. I deserve to be happy. That I’m more than just my father’s screw up.”

Maya had that annoying habit of seeing value in people who were, entirely, without value. She was friends with Tristan, she dated Zig. She dated Miles. She was my friend. Why would she be my friend, what about me made that seem like a good idea after everything I did.

“That some bitch who tortured her is more than just her mother’s pawn.”

My eyes shot to Miles’s as he said that. Glaring. Then I sagged, and realized exactly why he said that. How much of what I was feeling was plastered over my face right now? How much of that was just how similar we were. Our entirely relationship was ‘our parents fucked us up, let’s have sex to ignore it for an hour.’ “She’s not into girls.”

“That you know of.”

That spark of hope was annoying, it’d sit in the back of my mind like an itch I couldn’t reach until it was yanked away from me. And I lost the only person who believed in me in the process. “Can we just go back to your place and fuck already.” I grumbled.

Miles, at least, made me feel something other than pathetic.

“What an enchanting offer, of course.” He laughed a little and offered me his arm. Jerk.

***

“Shit, my glass is empty.” Maya said, thought a second, and added, “That sucks.”

Then ran off to pour herself another from the currently unlocked bar. I watched her go. She was having fun, it was good for her to get out of her own head for a bit. Come to a party, get a little drunk. Things Maya only does when given a good excuse. But- she needed to have fun.

“You’re drooling.”

“Shut up.” I checked in case Miles wasn’t just being annoying. “It isn’t my fault.”

“That Maya looks so good in those shorts?” Miles asked.

I sipped my drink, ignoring him. “I find, the best way to find out if a girl likes you is to kiss them and see what they do.”

Was he seriously suggesting I just- kiss Maya. That thought flooded my mind in various distracting ways. “It’s your party, as soon as things die down we’re going back to your room.”

“If you say so,” he kissed my cheek, “She’s coming back, so we should talk about something else.”

***

Stupid Miles. I should just not sleep with him tonight, just out of spite. I couldn’t get the idea of kissing Maya out of my head. I definitely wanted to, and the fact that he figured that out was irritating. However, I couldn’t do that. But I did need to kiss someone or I’d go insane.

So I kissed Miles, that’s kinda what he was here for. Be pretty, understand having shitty parents, and kissing. Maybe I was kissing him more to prove something, or- maybe it was to see how the blonde reacted to being a third wheel.

And some part of my mind clicked, she wouldn’t  _ be _ a third wheel if I just grew some ovaries. “Aww, are we neglecting you, I'm sorry." I moved from Miles’s lap, and very quickly draped myself over Maya. Stroking her hair from her face, looking for any sign she wasn’t okay with this, "We were doing so well too, until now."

"It's fine. You two are a thing, and this is a party." My heart was racing. Maya's attention was firmly on me, I didn't want this. And I did want this. But it'd be so much easier if she freaked out, or shoved me away. Instead she was just looking at me with those stupid big blue eyes of hers, trying to figure out what I wanted. "Zoe?"

As much as Maya never seemed to take care of herself, she really took care of herself. Her skin, her hair, lovely to the touch. And I'd really come too far to chicken out now. So… I kissed her. And it was everything I wanted, and more. And also everything I feared. Cause again Maya didn't push me away. She kissed back, not right away, but she did. Miles was a better kisser, something between experience and… no it was mostly experience, he was just better at knowing what I wanted.

But this felt right.

“Not entirely sure who I’m supposed to be jealous of.” Of course Miles was right there. Watching, I didn't mind him watching. Outside of Maya he was my best friend. And he'd done so much more than watch me before, not sure I could do anything in front of him that'd be a surprise. Kinda hated he broke into the moment that way.

Still, he was here, might as well put him to work. My eyes never left Maya. I knew more or less how Miles would react, I wanted to know what she was okay with, “I don’t think you have to be jealous of either of us.”

Time stretched out as I waited for her to respond, I could feel her heart race. But I wasn't sure if it was the kiss, or what I'd just suggested. Was she interested, was this about him? Would she say yes for another chance at a love that I ruined? “Miles, we should all three go to your room.”

Well, at least I wasn't out of the game just yet.

***

"So when Miles and Tris showed up together, what went through your head?"

Maya let a fry hang out of her mouth as she thought about the question, then shrugged, "At first I thought it was about me, then about just messing with his dad. But after therapy it was just- who Miles is."

"You thought it was about you?" I asked, trying to ignore how cute she was forgetting to finish eating while she thought.

"My ex best friend who hated me, and my ex boyfriend who also hated me, hooked up. Like- it was where my mind went." There was more to this story, but whatever secrets Maya was keeping weren't really of any concern to me right now.

"So you were really fine with it?"

"If- they were both happy, yeah." Maya's focus redoubled on her food. How did she eat like that and never worry about her looks. She's so annoying being naturally cute.

They weren't, but that wasn't the point here. "So if Miles and I…"

"If you're both happy casually hooking up, he doesn't belong to me. I think I screwed that up and it isn't going to happen." I was pretty sure that isn't what happened, I screwed that up. And Miles, mostly Miles. But Maya didn't really get much of a say that night. And after that, I didn't get much of a say the rest of the night either.

"Well, I think I've hurt you enough, so I wanted to ask before-"

"If getting laid keeps you from reverting to who you were start of the year,  _ please _ , have sex with whoever makes you happy." There was a smirk, super annoying. Like, she was teasing me over my past but I couldn't be mad at her about it.

I was remembering what it was I found so annoying about her last summer.

***

Maya's phone ringing was not what I expected at 3 AM, but we weren't asleep yet. So it wasn't the worst.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah-" Maya yawned, she pulled on a pair of Miles's pajama pants from the floor Zoe did not want to know the providence of, "I'll tell her something like the truth."

"It got late and we crashed in Miles's guest room?" I offered.

"Leaving out the alcohol, and everything else." Maya clicked the phone to life and scurried off to Miles's bathroom to take her call.

"Maya was wrong," Miles said, looking over at me in the dark. "We're not all bi."

"So you and Tristan were just a phase," I asked. Knowing he wasn't speaking of himself, and that I was too happy to have this conversation.

He stared at me, and waited. "You're an okay actor, but an awful liar."

I scoffed, "I'm a great liar."

"Not when you're lying to yourself."

I looked away, I felt especially naked and not just from- well, being naked. I've been naked in Miles's bed too often for that to be the reason.

"As much as you put some… enthusiasm into your time with me. Comparing how you were with Maya made it pretty clear you were acting."

"I'm mad you faked being asleep all conversation."

"I was asleep but these two ladies kept talking all night."

I didn't want to think about this. That he was right. I wanted this fairytale of the three of us, together. That some day I could say 'well, that was fun.' and find a nice boy my mother would disapprove of but accept. Maybe some kids, I'd be a better mom by never being her. I especially didn't want to think about this while the lie had me so happy. "Can we do this never?"

"Wanna talk about it in the morning?"

"No." Well, I was being honest. I grumbled, "Fine. After coffee. And you're buying."

"It's a date then." Miles's smirk was audible and boys are dumb.

"Don't worry, you woke her up when you called me. Since we're sharing the same guest room," Maya came back in, talking loud enough to be clear this was a 'shut up Miles' warning. "Zoe, please confirm we've been together all night?"

Asking me to tell the truth was a tall order, but I felt I could handle it this once.


	3. Hollingsworth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally, Miles. And his narrative in this affair.

"Why has Zoe been sneaking out of the house every night for the past two weeks."

"It hasn't been every night," I answered, picking out something from breakfast to eat. But not sure what I wanted, "You've never shown an interest in the ladies, or gentlemen, I brought home before Franks."

"They never planned to set me up as the fall girl for an elaborate nude selling ring."

"If I were dating Zoe, I'd be sure to ask your permission after all that."

"So… you're just having sex?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

Frankie made that face where she got to the edge of picturing it, realized where she went, and reeled back at the last moment, "No. No. But please, just- try to find someone else to spend your time with."

"Sure, mom. How about this. I help you sneak Winston into your room, and we never talk about either of our sex lives again."

Frankie swallowed whatever retort she had, considered. "Deal."

And she extended her hand.

***

The plan was in motion, all things aligned just right. Mom was out, Dad was keeping his distance. And my throwing a wild party meant that whatever fallout came from it would land on me. Hunter and Arlene gaming all night, and Frankie being the dutiful daughter, avoided my nefarious throng of chaos. Winston there as my friend, not Frankie's boyfriend, would be above suspicion.

And, of course, I got to throw a wild party. And Zoe would be there, so at least I'd be happily engaged so I didn't have to think about my best friend and my little sister doing, more or less, what I do most nights I have the option. Instead Zoe arrived with my ex as her plus one.

So I had that to occupy me instead. And all that this entailed. Perhaps Zoe had her own scheme in motion. I wouldn't put anything past her after this year. Of course, I should leave well enough alone.

But that's boring.

I waited for Zoe to get dragged off by some of her friends from school. Leaving Maya on her own, "So, if someone told me you and Zoe Rivas would become best friends, I'd call them a liar."

"Yeah, it's a little weird. But- I guess that's just how my life goes," Maya answered. Resigned to this sentiment. I could believe that. After their falling out Tristan explained the whole sordid way he became Maya's BFF. And once I deciphered what actually happened, it became clear that Maya drew chaos in her wake. Which was fine, I appreciated not being bored.

"So- what'd she promise."

"That you two would behave, at least try to."

"Tall order."

"As long as you don't fuck in the middle of the party, or knock over my drink, I don't really care. I just- don't wanna be left alone at this party."

"That… I think I can manage. My father's scotch is too good to waste on the ground."

"Not unless you're lighting something on fire."

I smiled. "Well, yes, not unless that."

***

Morning came far too early, after being woken up by the girls talking through a lot of feelings. And my own chat with Zoe. Fortunately Maya and Winston handled most of the clean-up. So by the time I wandered downstairs for coffee, the house looked amazing.

And Winston, oddly, was nowhere to be found. 

"Morning people suck." Zoe grumbled from behind me on the stairs.

"Frankie left for her internship, Winston ran away. And I have to confirm I didn't do anything sketchy last night with my mom." Maya was dressed, looking like she didn't do a lot of dubious and questionable things last night. And annoyingly perky.

"Did you leave us coffee?"

"In the pot." She answered, she awkwardly kissed me. It was quick and not quite the passionate thing of last night. Her apprehensions showing. She attempted a similar maneuver with Zoe. But Zoe reacted exactly how a girl in love would react to such an act.

They were making out, right next to me. For nearly a minute. "And I really have to go. We'll, um- later."

And Maya ran off.

I looked at Zoe.

"Not a fucking word until I have coffee."

As much as I wanted to suggest that she wouldn't get nearly the buzz from coffee she got from Maya, I did want to see where her head, and heart, were. So I just said it to myself. And smirked.

"No smirking either." She lead the way to the kitchen, dressed in one of my oversized shirts. If it wasn't for all that was different, this was very much a normal morning for us.

We sat in silence, sipping coffee. Zoe was avoiding the topic while I formulated my plan. I knew she had to talk about it, I also knew she wouldn’t talk about it. Maya and I were complicated, Zoe and I were simple. Painfully so. What we were was understanding. We got it without having to talk about it. Without spelling it out in more than a passing mention.

I sipped, “Once upon a time there was a princess, beautiful and groomed to be the best princess her mother could ask for.”

“Miles.”

“She was taught how to win a Prince’s heart, and how to use her charms to get ahead. But she was also taught that any other princess she could not command was an enemy. Ones that wouldn’t sell nude photos, or had musical talent.” I went on, putting the words together as I thought of them. “Which meant that the princess couldn’t see how much she’d rather another princess than a prince. How close am I to the mark?”

She sipped her coffee, and glared.

I waited.

“My mom will hate me.”

“Your mom already hates you.” I answered, entirely dismissing the problem. It was something Zoe and I had in common. A parent who hated us, but it hurt to own up to it. I could only manage cause my father attempted to sell out my sister for his own desires. “How is this different.”

“She could forgive everything else. Getting fired, getting suspended, the trial.”

I stared at her, “She blames you for that?”

“It’s- don’t twist it like that.”

I waited.

“Okay, so she’ll hate me even more.” She glared at me, “And why do you care? Shouldn’t you just be over the moon about last night.”

“I should, but… and this is as much a surprise to me as it is to you, I care about you. And as much as I’ll miss the sex, I’d rather you be happy than naked.”

“And what if we both love the same girl.”

I shrugged, “That feels like a problem we’ll worry about later. But- you didn’t even suspect you were a lesbian.”

“No. Cause I couldn’t be.” She frowned, clearly she thought of something. “I- well… there was an extra, on West Drive. She was really sweet, and I liked hanging out with her. And she just- vanished from the show? Mom apparently got her fired. And blacklisted.”

“Dad’s done that to a few girls he didn’t approve of for me. Making them vanish as quietly as he could.” My dad and her mom could go golfing, talk about how much they love their children. How proud they are of what they’ve accomplished. And never once think about how their kids are actually doing. “So what do you do now?”

“Curl up in bed with you until I have to go home and face my mom.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Just because I’m-” she trailed off. I watched her, waiting for her to say it. She didn’t. “It doesn’t mean you still aren’t a good friend and get me. Don’t think too hard about it. I won’t even get dressed.”

Well, it was a start. At any rate.

***

I hadn’t done this in a while, climbing the tree outside of this window, but I casually tapped on the glass. The window opened and I got a very confused blonde looking at me, “Miles?”

“I figured you were avoiding us, so I figured I should just come over so you can’t just ignore my call.”

I had called twice in the past three days, getting nothing.

“I- it’s just, I’ve been thinking and I have no idea what to think. I was going to reach out once I knew what I was doing.” Maya made everything complicated. Admittedly as far as I could tell, complicated was just Maya’s life. One complication after another, and she never talked about any of them is she could avoid it. She didn’t burden others with herself. Which just made the mystery so much more appealing. “Come in before you fall out of that tree. I can’t take that this week.”

I pulled myself into the windowbox with her. Last time I was here, she shut the window on me because I threw a wild party, got drunk, ripped out someone’s flowers, and kinda hooked up with Zoe. I was both sober and not holding stolen flowers, but most of the other things seemed the same. More or less. “What’s complicated?”

I knew what was complicated, Maya wasn’t me. She couldn’t just ‘have sex’ without the world tilting off its axis. So naturally what happened threw her into a whole new orbit.

She schooled her expression, “Gee, dunno. Everything?”

“How about I simplify it for you. Zoe’s in love with you, I’m still in love with you.”

“That doesn’t help at all!”

“I’m not finished, you don’t have to choose between us.”

The concept, not choosing, must have been very alien to her. Not a surprise, given how Zig acted. How she was torn between the Rubber Room rejects and her time with me and Tristan. Maya always seemed forced to make choices she didn’t want. So it made sense she just- couldn’t process the idea. “My life is better with you in it. Zoe seems much happier now than she’s ever been. Don’t choose. Don’t complicate it more than you need to.”

Maya collapsed back into the pillows set into the windowbox, it wasn’t a dramatic act. Not a pull for attention like Frankie’s antics, or mine, or Zoe’s. Just a weight that was pressing her into a shape being removed. Come to think of it, I can’t remember Maya ever looking truly relaxed. Ever. The best I could think of was ‘not terrified.’ And that was rare.

“I just- every time I hurt someone. I try not to, I try to help everyone and then…”

“The boy you like pulls a fake gun on your roommate.”

She nods.

“I can’t speak for Zoe, but you should talk to her cause she’s going through a lot. But for me, I’d rather you be happy than with me. The fact that you’ve given me as many chances as you have is more than anyone has done for me.”

“You’re not a bad person.”

I didn’t believe her. “Still, I’ve done a lot of things.”

“Oh,” Maya sat up, her posture shifting as her mind latched onto something. It was a very feline thing she did. When she caught a playful idea. “I gathered that from the other night.”

I smirked, “Not the topic I was on, but glad my experience has paid off in some way. I think none of us wants to hurt each other anymore. So we can probably work this out so we don’t.” I looked past Maya and my tone quickly changed. “I think it’s safest if I jump out this window now.”

“Why?”

“Your sister is behind you.” Which very much was my cue to leave.

“Goodbye Miles.” Katie Matlin said. Wow she was scary, as I let myself fall from the edge of the window to the ground. It wasn’t too high, I’d be fine.

Provided Maya was willing to try and be greedy, then I'd be fine.


End file.
